::Why you need to take your wedding ceremony a little more seriously::
This will be a short blog, but it’s too long for an Insta square or Facebook post and it’s important.
For whatever reason, I feel like ceremonies are taken less and less seriously these days. I don’t know if it has to do with feeling shy about all the attention on you for a moment in time or what. But it seems to be the last thing planned and the details are usually a little loose, deciding in the moment at rehearsal with the laughter of ‘oh yeah, no our ceremony will be like 10-15 minutes top.’
Guys. Your marriage is worth more than a 10-15 minute intro. I’m only 7 years in but this shit is hard and if you think taking it lightly in the beginning is going to float you through the hard times, think again. No, I don’t remember our 30 minute ceremony. It happened in a whirl. But I do remember the 8 months of planning it, the emotions, the thoughtful consideration of the commitment I was making, the song selections and how they reflected something meaningful for our hopes and aspirations for marriage and so on.
Don’t let your ceremony be an obligated moment to tell funny stories, pop a ring on, make a quick promise and head off to your party. Pause for a hot second, think about what you are doing and take it seriously. Add all the jokes, the rings and the promises, but give me more meat than that. Give yourself more meat than that.
If nothing else, the process of planning this moment is refining. It allows you to reflect on your relationship, on yourself, on your future spouse and really consider things you might not have yet considered no matter how long you have known this person. It's a telling process that allows you to navigate and sort through feelings. It allows you to slow down and be grateful for your engagement season despite the stress and details.
Planning your ceremony can create longing and desire. I remember being in my car and one of our selected songs came on the radio and I just lost it. I was bawling at a red light just wrapped in immense desire to marry the man that had chosen me.
I want those feelings for you.
You need those feelings.
When you wake up knee deep in a career that keeps you across the country from each other 4-5 days of the week or with baby vomit stuck in your hair, you need to have the memory of the red light cry sesh. You need reminders as to why you made a choice to love no matter what. Because I'll tell you, it's a choice you have to make every moment of every day. This honeymoon-high is not going to last forever, if even long at all. It won't always feel natural. So give yourself some dramatic memories to lean on and allow some of those to be related to the covenant you are making.
Write it all down, too! Maybe you don’t need one of those fancy wedding albums but make sure you have your vows, readings, song selections, etc all in a special place for reference. They can be life giving in those dark days and nostalgic on the good days.
Alright, that’s all. Continue on with your day. 😊