::10 Things No Bride Wants to Hear but Needs to Know::
Want to know the truth? You’ve come to the right place. I’ll even skip the fluff of an intro. Diving right in, here are 10 things that no bride wants to hear but totally needs to know!
1. I preach this left and right, up and down, every moment I get: you are in control of your experience. What I really mean by that is that your a t t i t u d e will determine your experience.
Think about it. Setting realistic expectations (cost, mishaps, family drama … all of it) will allow you to go with the flow and when people are able to go with the flow, they don’t get all worked up.
Also, you catch more bees with honey so when you want to get all sassy with your vendor, you can be assured that they’ll be all “yes ma’am” but going above and beyond for you was just shattered. By you. Said every vendor, every where. And based a on a few years of doing this, the ones that get sassy are typically the ones the vendors have been bending over backwards to please. Which means it’s a lost cause…. there is nothing a vendor can do for a person that can’t see the efforts.
2. I wish I could start paying y'all to believe that full service planners pretty much offset their cost??? My highest paying full service contract was 100% offset. And you know what? It had nothing to do with discounts. It came down to using my expertise to match my client with the right vendors for her particular needs. It’s shocking, I know. But I happen to be good at my job.
3. There is no such thing as a ‘day of coordinator’ and if you buy into that myth, you’re wasting your money. You may see those words because of SEO but it’s truly a disservice to the industry. In efforts to elevate our market, I want to speak the truth. You need a minimum of month of coordination.
Otherwise, come see me after your honeymoon. I’ll have tissues, tequila and a “told ya so.” This comes from a place of love and fierce protection for your day. It also comes from personal experience. I was the corporate event planner that thought I knew what I was doing. And I mostly did. But being objective for my own day wasn't realistic and I really missed out on some valuable assistance. (It also cost me more money in the long run.)
4. You need to read your contracts.
Those contracts are full of information that will help you plan. Things like the number of hours you may have a venue or a vendor but most importantly, they will list limitations and requirements. For example, no open flame candles or perhaps you have to work with certain professionals or maybe you can’t have alcohol in the getting ready room. All things that impact your day and the layering process in which that special day is even planned.
We vendors don’t spend thousands of dollars on those things just to have them ignored and we don’t put stuff in them just for fun. If there is a clause you don’t like, you can just be assured there is a story from our pasts that we don’t like.
5. Your participation is required. For some, it seems a little too much to ask for their participation.
When a vendor sends some questions, there is likely a reason. We all have a process and things we need to consider. Every detail feeds off of another and sometimes, it takes weeks for a certain piece to fall into place and because we are aware of that process and timing, providing the information that is requested of you is helpful- and with timeliness.
Can’t get to it right away? No worries, just communicate that you are working on it. When clients go MIA, vendors get put in a real bind (insert a ton of behind the scenes mess you don’t care to know) and in all reality, all that does is hurt you.
6. Sometimes, the answer is no. When a vendor says “no” to that daydream install, it is typically a form of protection. And should be followed with “… but, what if we did this instead?” It’s our job to be realistic (safety, budget, congestion, flow, timeline, etc) but develop ideas that allow as much of that vision to come to life as possible.
7. The cost of a wedding will blow your ever loving mind and all of your inquiries say “I’m on a budget.” But in my opinion there are three kinds of budget: low, champagne taste on a beer budget and high. Now… defining those is what is different for each person.
The best approach to sticker shock is sitting down with a planner and hashing out the priorities. Even if that means hiring a planner for one hour of consulting so you even know how much money if might take to meet your expectations.
8. DIY can cost more than you think. Who is making it? How much time will it take? Where will it be stored until the wedding? Who will transport it? Will the venue be open in time to take it before pictures? Who will set it up? How will it get put away? What happens if it breaks during set up?
Time is money. Damage to your car is money. Not having a back-up plan like a professional vendor with a stockpile of inventory… may not be money but it sure is a bummer.
9. Like it or not, but if you book a venue without a rain plan, you must be okay with a tent or getting married around your dinner tables.
I’ve had one bride insist that we make her guests sit in the rain as she was going down that aisle. Um, no. That is a safety hazard for so many reasons: lightening, fall risk, damage to the ground, etc. Not to mention all those expensive cocktail dresses and shoes you are asking your guests to ruin. I just think this mentality is so rude. Guests know that's not what you planned. They roll with the punches and have fun despite the weather. Be okay with that.
Also, read this blog about rainy day headspace that we had published on Style Me Pretty. One of our rainy day brides wrote most of it and its AWESOME!!!!
10. Being decisive will save your life! Gather feedback from the pros and just pick one. Don’t look back and know it’s going to be awesome.
Your guests won’t know what 5 shades of orange you debated or which fonts you considered for your invitation. I mean, give it some thought for sure… but don’t sit on decisions too long or they will start to mess with your head.