Is there really anything like a good pow-wow with girlfriends? The older I get, the more I covet them. In a recent hash sesh, the topic turned to weddings and what we would have done differently with our own. We were all content with venues, décor, food…. general selections. There really wasn’t much we would change. But one gal wisely reflected that she wishes she had just let go of things. She was so wrapped up in every detail being just as she imagined that she felt like it left her wedding void of their true personalities.
This is so important! Wedding day expectations are everything, right? Managing expectations is often easier than it sounds but when done, I do see brides and grooms enjoy the wedding planning process all the more. Expectations tend to be based on other weddings we have seen and on what we think our friends and family would like to see from us now.
Unfortunately, having the wrong expectations can really derail a wedding day. It's tricky to navigate so I want to share a few common things I see, which you can easily get on track once recognizing. I'll even be sharing my tips on the next blog post.
FIVE THINGS THAT WILL DERAIL YOUR WEDDING DAY
Not having a clear understanding of a product or service. Differing opinions on how a service or product was promised verse what was interpreted can turn things into frustration quickly. There are industry standards that most vendors operate within so even if the language is pretty typical, not having planned a wedding before, a couple may not realize or know to clarify particular details. Compromise usually comes with healthy conversation so approaching it never hurts!
Thinking it's all about the Bride. This one is hard! This day is special for a lot of people and truth be told, the more fun that others are having, the more fun a bride has. This doesn't mean she shouldn't be treated like royalty, but the princess attitude will kill a wedding day more than anything else.
The pressure of perfection. In what world is anything ever perfect? The good news is that you may never have to know about wedding day troubleshooting if you have a wedding planner to problem solve for you. And for the areas you do uncover: rain, ripped dress, stomach bug taking out your Maid of Honor.... grieve (because this is real and you are allowed to feel it), and then choose to have fun.
Poor time-management. This life stage is full of travel for other weddings, career shifts, home remodels or purchases, maybe grad school or working night shifts on your way up the ladder. Understanding upfront how much time planning a wedding may take and being honest with yourself about time away from work, how you manage travel and other social engagements and really, how you manage your wedding to do list will set you up for success. An over-crowded calendar will cause procrastination and that only causes stress. From there, it’s pretty hard to meet expectations. It's okay to say "no" to things so you can say "yes" to your own wedding day.
Lack of trust. Not trusting your professional wedding vendors to guide you will guarantee trouble. Going rogue only costs you time, money and stress at the end of the day.
Managing expectations can take effort but I think it’s so worth every ounce of thought. Next on the blog, I’ll be bringing to you my top ways to manage wedding day expectations for a positive result.