I started with a really funny opener. Mainly because I wanted to relate to you. I felt without this story, I may come across as judgmental. But then I decided it wasn’t funny. I have seen alcohol deeply and tragically impact lives of many that are close to me. So if you love my sassy blogs, you'll have to do without the intro on this one. I’ve decided to place respect for those this topic has impacted over my fear of seeming judgmental.
I’ll start by sharing some wedding experiences that have absolutely scared me.
- Can’t name all of the times that a best man or even bride couldn’t even stand on their own two feet by the end of the night.
- Parking lot altercations, in the dark, in the middle of nowhere, in the wee hours of the morning.
- Soiling oneself. Okay, what’s with my PC way of saying that? We can have a liiiiiitle fun with this blog. Like the guy literally just shat his pants. I’m sure there was some dribs in there too.
- Not at my wedding but I have a planner friend that dealt with a groomsmen pooping in an elevator.
- Groom riiiiiiippppiing his clothes off. I don’t even know if he had nice abs, I scratched my eyeballs out the moment it occurred. I mean, really? This.is.your.wedding.day. A day with lots of pictures, grandma, classy moments and first impressions. Ruined.
So you think being scared by this is prude? Cause yeah, we’ve all seen far worse. But when you’re downtown and can grab a cab- great. When you’re with your frat brothers and that’s what it’s about, fine. When you’re baching it up on your last hoorah, whatever. But on your wedding day? Come on people. Grow up.
YES! All the yessessssss, to how I hate that phrase, yes! The wedding day should be THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE and that likely means one of the best parties you’ve ever hosted or attended. It should mean mimosas for brunch, whiskey for getting ready and an open bar all night because this is just one big party. No… noooo no no no all the nos.
This is NOT just a big party. This day is about you making a cross my heart, hope to die, for-ev-er, covenant with the love of your life. It’s about meeting people and loving on people and having your whole world of support in one room for likely the only time ever. And it’s a day to remember, not the kind you piece together while pounding Taco C at 3am with a hangover.
So go have your fun but here are my thoughts on alcohol and how it can be served responsibly at your wedding:
1. First and foremost, if you are serving alcohol you are legally responsible for your guests’ well-being when they leave your party. You must (yes, must) provide transportation for those that drink. It’s not a question mark or an area to save money. You’re not going to be Susie Sunshine on the first morning of your honeymoon when you’re called to come back because Drunk Danno wrapped his car around a tree leaving your booze fest.
2. Alcohol during cocktail hour needs to be accompanied by hearty apps- particularly with protein. This ‘chips and salsa’ business is not okay. It’s just not. You can’t service alcohol for 4-5 hours without a real way for people to absorb it.
3. No shots. Wa waaaaaa. I’m serious. My new contract even states we will not allow them and will remove ourselves from service if they are served. The stories from above mostly included shots. And you’ll try to sneak them in and I may turn my head a little, for a groomsmen toast or whatever, but your bad behavior that turns into my mess and liability is simply not funny. Being the sober one (scrawny, with no ability to control you no less) in the corner of these “eat, drink and be married” fests is eye opening. As you slowly become intoxicated, you do not see or understand what is going on around you, in the way that I do, to know that some people are highly out of control. I get that you don’t know this to be true because every wedding you have ever attended involved the same slope. So trust the mom in the corner and save the shots for the after party. I’m not trying to rain on your parade.
4. Have a last call 30 minutes prior to your departure. I mean, are we such alkies that we can’t make a drink last for a whole 30 minutes? The bar doesn’t need to be serving roadies to your guests. Another ‘host’ liability for you to deal with when the 5-0 comes tailing your el drunko hombre.
Weddings have become my favorite date nights. Free food, free drinks… dancing! It’s a blast. I love to let loose and I know the couple spent a lot of money for me to be there. I understand that you want to give your guests a good time and you really should. I just ask that you do that with maturity and wisdom. Poop jokes aside, it literally could be a life or death decision you are making.
Last thought for you... when serving responsibly, your vendors are able to focus on their jobs rather than fielding flirtations and uncomfortable situations. Gaw... the stories we tell over our own happy hours about dodging the alcohol bullet are hysterical. But in reality, do you want to spend $5k on a photographer that can't get half the pictures you want because people are all up in her business? Or a planner that misses an important detail because they are sidetracked by nursing the wedding party? Just things to think about.
Now... go have fun!!!!!