Have you ever been kicked out of a wedding party? Don’t worry, I have. Want to know why????? Because I couldn’t make it to her rehearsal… on a Wednesday… at 1pm… in another state. I’m sorry, you what… don’t want me to be a bridesmaid anymore? So incredibly hurtful, self-centric, bridezilla and offensive in every way possible. I had paid for the dress and flown out for alterations but since it was hanging in her closet, she didn’t hesitate to give it to my replacement without paying me for it.
Like ya’ll… so sad. We don’t talk to this day. Just so I don’t look like the loser friend here- I was in my first job out of college and had 10 days for sick and vacation. I also lived in another state away from my family. So it’s not like I was just gallivanting to Europe with my vacay days and putting her on the back burner. I missed my own cousin’s wedding so I would have enough days to be in this friend’s wedding. Only to get booted.
Let me be very clear- NOT EVERYONE HAS TO BE PRESENT. And quite honestly, if your brother is running 20 minutes late, I’m so sorry but we need to get started for a lot of reasons. 1. Starting late reflects poorly on the bride and the planner, people have been so considerate to take time off of work and it should be respected 2. It costs money 3. Can make you late to plans that follow. Even if the person running late has an active role, I promise we can fill them in when they get there. This is the easiest thing ever.
The last part just being my own word vomit because well, for the love….
No but really, not everyone has to be there. We can be missing a couple wedding party members and the rest can fill them in on the wedding day. I will also be there to provide that guidance. My inner response to jerk face that kicked me out of her wedding was ‘this is not rocket science, thanks for trusting my ability to walk down an aisle’. Did she think I was 4? And how many rehearsals have I done without the ring bearer and flower girl? Um, like most. So if they can show up on a wedding day and follow instructions, no reason why your big people friends can’t.
That to say, don’t stress about it and allow them to wrap things up at work so they are 100% focused on you and not distracted when they do arrive. You’ll be much happier!
Another helpful thing to know- we don’t have to do your rehearsal at the venue. Often, the venue is booked with another event or wedding the day before. Or perhaps the venue is an hour out of town and you want to have a rehearsal dinner in town. Easy peasy! Does your hotel have a conference room? Is there a park nearby? I’ve even done one in a grandmother’s front yard. The whole point is to put names with faces for everyone. This is often the first time a lot of people are meeting and it’s helpful for the guys and gals just to know who they are paired with and what order they will enter. Apart from that, I totally got ya! Spacing and timing happens organically on the wedding day no matter how rehearsed or perfected so offsite rehearsals still work out great.
Timing! Eekkk… okay, so this is the frustrating one. Unfortunately, Austin is one of the most inundated wedding and event markets in the country and our schedules are very saturated as a result. It’s not uncommon for venues and planners to require morning rehearsals. It truly depends on other bookings and often can’t be confirmed until 30 days in advance. I promise its okay- again, not everyone has to be there, and those that can often enjoy a morning gig with a fun afternoon planned for them before dinner. Or an hour or two to get ready for dinner. Go ahead and make your dinner plans and send invitations for those. We will absolutely contact your wedding party as we get closer with rehearsal details and if they can all make it- fabulous, if one is flying in later, no big deal! For reference- our most common rehearsal time for a Saturday wedding is 3pm on a Friday and is often done offsite. It’s so great- and mainly because it keeps you all out of traffic both coming and going.
Rehearsals are fun and should be easy! Sometimes they are overthought and take a really long time. Just remember that we are there for you on the wedding day. No need to stress about the little things. We will tell you when to go, where to place your hands, to take your wallets of your pockets and cue the music. All you have to do is show up!